Now, it's like we're settling down to "what it should be". I mean our communication frequency. But up to how "extensive" this settling down would be?
Well, obviously the culprit so far is her work. She literally has no rest day since the Christmas week. Even on New Year's day she had to work. And this will go on until next week, then after that she has to make preparations for Chinese New Year. So pretty much I'll be on the sidelines for the next 4-5 weeks.
This just simply makes what's her mind unknown to me, except for those of her everyday stuff most probably. I've slowly adjusted so far in this kind of setup - I haven't really bugged her a lot (a concrete and solid reason why I need to back off a bit, like how I mentioned in the previous entries). The everyday stuff is still there, but they aren't just like before. They aren't that eye catching nor heart stopping like before. But I'm still thankful that I still hear from her. And I'm not really acting some kind of a clingy guy. So I think it's all good.
The other night, unexpectedly, she invited me to talk on the phone. Unexpected, because it was quite late, she just came home from work, she could have had a rough day, and she had to work the next day. To top all of that, it was a Saturday and she had to work also on Sunday. But still she invited me for a talk. The first we had for this year, and it was a nice talk. Missed her voice. Even more as the last time we talked was weeks ago. Here's how frequent we had talked recently.
A far cry from how frequent we talked in November, up to the first week of December. I even got missed calls.
I don't mean to whine nor complain, but I cannot deny that I really miss what we had two months ago. I know it's kinda wild and crazy trying to get a hold of her every moment possible. But yeah, I'm thankful having this opportunity compartmentalizing showing her how I feel these days and how I truly feel deep inside at this stage of whatever we have right now. These moments that I miss how she made me feel two months back - I can cherish these and may serve more like a "springboard" once we meet in several months.
But now, I'm pretty okay with our current setup, compared to almost turning to an emotional tragedy last month. From time to time she still calls me out still, it's just that she has been dreadfully busy with work. I don't honestly know what the future holds for us (well, who does?), but at this point, almost three months since I left their place, I still feel exactly the same for her, and looking forward for the next months until our next meeting carrying the same feelings for her (we'll see how it goes, if I still feel the same).
But for now, my next stop would be 6-8 weeks from now. The weeks after Chinese New Year. Before, I was looking forward for February for a different reason - my then-would-be trip to see her again. That then-would-be Valentine's Day date with her. But all that are cancelled because of some reason (not relevant to this blog). But now it turns out I'm looking forward for her not to be busy anymore (even just for that time only).
I promise for a more cerebral approach to the whole thing in the next entry, for a change.
No comments:
Post a Comment